Manhattan, NY

January 31, 2017

 

 

The emotional suffering was so intense that my whole body ached. I felt guilty for breathing. All I had been up to that point had broken into countless pieces. Why did I not die in that accident? The atrocious death of my parents turned me into a broken mirror... Food lost its taste, the dream turned into a swamp. Devoid of words the only expression remaining was crying. Humans, plants, animals, objects, they were all part of them, the whole world was their absence.
 

If I wanted to live again, I had to find in myself that zone where personal matters dissolve, where being consist of accepting what you are not. When meditating on my dark grief my old self dissolved, I entered the dimension where there is not one truth but thousands, simultaneous, contradictory, complex, simple, useful and useless ones.
Loneliness was imposed on me, I got filled with anger… Then, I realized we love more what we have lost than what we have. When I began to forgive myself, I thanked life… for the Quixote, Europe, the poetry, the forests and the seas. I think we should only talk about what we have a certain knowledge of; I have an absolute certainty of myself, not about who I am but what I dream... One day I realized that if I only talked about what I hate, they would only know my enemy and not me, it’s only when I talk about what I love that you can get to know me... I realized that the positive was always much more important; I can share with people nothing but positivity and if possible, something beautiful. Intelligent and positive friendships, rather than indolent losers, ignorant wretches for their own choices. It's a hysterical game. Thats why they are bad, even when they are good.

We are prey to endless associations. Sadness doesn’t exist; sadness is an oversight of reason... Reality is not only what we watch in the news, reality is also the sunset and the sunrise, people making love, working, eating, walking ... the grass that grows every day on a planet with five continents, surrounded by an infinite galaxy.

I don´t believe in statistics, I believe in ethics... We will be happy when what we want to do matches with what we should do.

 

 

 

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